This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
