you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
