I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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