I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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