summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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