This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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