I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
