Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
