all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
