So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The best revenge is premature balding
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
