We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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