I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
