Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I still have a little drunk in my system
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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