4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
