i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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