Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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