We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
