she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
