Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
