did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
