apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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