when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
