He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
