i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
