Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
