It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
