Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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