You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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