i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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