i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
