I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
