Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
