We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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