There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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