I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
