I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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