They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
