And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
