You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
