what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
