If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize