Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
