just come out here and I will go home with you...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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