Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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