Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I CAN MOONWALK!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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