You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
