We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
