he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
