Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
