So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
