Cold hands, warm shart.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
