she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just gargled with NyQuil
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
