I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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