we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
