how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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