I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
