At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize