I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
